Hipsters don’t do Valentine’s Day but if they did it would probably involve a bloody re-enactment of the pagan ritual upon which the day is said to be based.
For anyone wishing to unleash their inner pagan, whilst avoiding the legal and practical implications of slaughtering a goat, smearing yourself in its blood and frolicking in the streets, wearing only the animal’s decaying flesh, check out these delightful yet sanitised alternatives:
Oxfam Clothes Swap, Thursday 10th February @ Oxfam, Dalston: Free.
This year, try getting back to basics and making Valentine’s Day about Love (as opposed to spending twice the going rate on a three course set meal to paper over the cracks in your relationship)… This event is about Love for everyone, particularly those affected by global poverty. The usual cloth-swap rules; bring along your own clothes and leave with someone else’s. As well as being pretty much carbon-negative, the evening raises funds and awareness of the various appeals the event supports. It also offers lots of tips on wardrobe revamps and retro chic.
Shore Leave Valentine’s Day Ball, Friday 11th February @ Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club: £7.00.
For a night of dressing up, rolling out barrels and general barbarity check out Shore Leave’s latest event planned this Friday. I went to the Christmas one in Dalston and a huge, bald man in a wife beater grabbed me by the shoulders, rammed me up against a wall and spat rum-imbibed sailor-flem into my surprised face… I’ve never felt more alive!
Dogging, any time @Clapham Common: Free.
To see how the other half live this Valentine's Day get yourself down to Clapham Common. Single or in a couple this is a guaranteed night of romance, excitement and making new friends!
Lost Lovers’ Ball, Friday 11th, Saturday 12th and Sunday 13th February @ Battersea Power Station: £49.50 (inc booking fee).
On a more aesthetically appealing and expensive note, check out the Secret Garden Party’s Lost Lover’s Ball at one of London’s most anomalously beautiful sites- Battersea Power Station. Like the theme of tainted love, it is beautiful in its harshness. A symbol of the negative and mundane captured in something huge, awe-inspiring and other-worldly. All profits go to charity.
Women in Love, Friday 14th February @ The Prince of Wales, Dalston
This Valentine’s Day, The Prince of Wales are holding a male-only wrestling contest in a homage to the famous scene from the film adaptation of D H Lawrence’s classic novel. First prize is dinner for two at The Prince* with the landlord’s daughter of your choice. (*set menu only)
